It’s time Santa went on a diet

I’ve been thinking its time that the jolly fellow (Santa Claus) started looking after himself and cut out the eggnogg and shortbread cookies. He’s not setting a very good example for the kids, is he?  He’s overweight (fat) and all he does is ho ho ho about it. And what about Rudolph and the other reindeer…it must be hard dragging around an old fat guy and waiting around on the rooftop while he squeezes himself through the chimney. And it really would be a lot easier to make it down the chimney if he lost a few pounds.

So here’s how we can give Santa a little help in the healthy living department. This year don’t leave him beer and pretzels, or milk and cookies, or chocolates. It’s time we showed some tough love and left him some healthy snacks…how about some veggies, carrot sticks and broccoli (but hold the veggie dip). Or some nuts and raisins,or an apple, maybe some edamame beans, or anything with tofu in it :)

Santa may not be too thrilled about the change of pace, but I’m thinking he’ll thank us for it next year, when, if he’s taken our advice he’ll be able to fit  into his old Santa Suit from back when he was  a young Santa. And I’m going to send him a link to Karlee’s Vegan Survival Guide to give him some healthy eating ideas.

It’s time Santa started taking his health more seriously…he’s got a lot of kids counting on him. Maybe next year we can get him to quit smoking, drinking, and carrying on with the elves.

There’s something else that I’d like to address…Why is it that people are so happy and loving and caring at Christmas? But they drive their cars like it’s demolition derby time at the PNE. I’ve seen more middle finger salutes these past few days than I’ve seen all year. It must be getting close to Christmas. After we make it through this “joyous season”, people will most likely go back to being their same old grumpy selves and I’m hoping their driving will get back to “normal” as well.

Ho Ho Ho

Merry Christmas to all and wishing everyone a fantastic 2012

Peter